Helpless... Hopeless...

There comes a point where even anger becomes redundant....

I mean, when someone you love is a victim of abuse, and doesn't seem to mind it, what CAN you do!!!!

I want to scream, I want to hit someone, preferable the Fuck-Wad who is hurting her! But then, my rational mind takes over and says she can deal with it... But the Fucking awful part is, I don't think she can! She thinks it's OK, that he has the 'right' to do it to her!

She thinks that he has the ability to, that nothing can be done to help it! What do I do!!!! What can I do! Other than scream in impotent silence!

I don't even mind the rest of the shit in my life anymore! What do I do? I cried.... But is that enough? I can go to the cops, she would deny it, I could get him beaten up, which would make things worse for her, I can 'Be there for her', but Do I want to? Do I want to be the one condoning it?

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME! What do I do!

Help... Please... Help her, help me...

I want to help, I want to 'Do the right thing', but what IS the right thing? What should I do, when she thinks to do nothing is the right thing? Who am I to break up a home, a facade of respectability that is carefully maintained thorugh a thin veneer of wealth and sociability...

The barely disguised loathing, the open fear... How stupid AM I? Shashank is right, I am a tiny alien-brained freak, it took me over two years to figure it out... And I didn't even figure it out, SHE had to Fucking TELL me... After all, you see, 'He usually ensures it doesn't show'... Said with a pride almost....

From raped to impotent... How much lower can I fall?